Down the Rabbit Hole...

I am in Ponderland. It is dirty and chaotic, full of rats and pigeons, expensive, smelly, rotten and massive. I feel at home in the weirdest, weirdest way.
Yesterday morning, wrapped in a blanket, sipping on a can of red stripe, I decided to stay.

Now. That's exciting, innit. And oh so scary.

It is mad. And I can't help wondering if maybe, maybe I am just being massively immature and unreasonable. And why I can't seem to stay in one place for more than a year. Konstanz, Cologne, Bochum, Galway, Bochum again, back to Konstanz... all since 2005. And now it is the Old Smoke. Who knows what on earth I am running from.

Thing is, I can't help it. I wasn't made for a life in a pretty German town full of old churches and red wine and old women sweeping the sidewalks at 7am on a Saturday morning. Much as I miss it when I am not there.
I like old pubs and beer and drunk men pissing on the sidewalks at 7 am on a Saturday morning better.

So I'll have to take a deep breath and tell my parents that I am dropping out of college. Again.
Last time went quite well. Here's what I blogged about it back then:

So... I recently dropped out of college.
The college doesn't know yet. But my parents do.
I was really scared to tell them, afterall they spent a shitload of money on my education during the past couple of years. I felt like a loser and complete disappointment to my mum and dad, when I sobbed my drop-out plans into the telephone receiver.
My mum was cool, though. She said she still loved me and if I wanted to, she would take all the boxes with gift wrap out of my old room and I could come back home to live in it and she'd make me breakfast and a hot water bottle.
Then she said I needed to find something else to do.

This time I want to have a vague idea of what else I could do before I tell them. So I'll have to hurry and get organised a bit. Will find hostel and look for jobses today and do some free work for the gays, cause I love them.

DEEP BREATH. Hello London!

(Feel free to let me know that I am STUPID AND MENTAL in a comment. But don't forget that some of The Best People were College drop outs or gays. Or both. I think the fact that it took Steven Spielberg 34 years to do his Bachelor makes me feel quite good about my decision.)