'nother non-tootingy update

Had serious chat with my friend The Laundrette Man the other day, cause I left some things lying around in his shop while the washing was on and I was going to buy stamps for Loreena McKennit. It went like this:

Laundrette Man: "I took your stuff behind the counter, so it wouldn't get stolen!"
Me: "Thank you! But it's just..."
Laundrette Man: "You can't leave things lying around like that! They will get stolen!"
Me: "Ok, I know, but it was just..."
Laundrette Man: "The other day I saw a guy holding a knife to some other guys throat right in front of my eyes!"
Me: "Oh! Ok... but in that bag it's just..."
Laundrette Man: "Leave something lying around and I swear... 20 seconds!"
Me: "Really? But it's just..."
Laundrette Man: "Yes! 20 seconds and your bag will be gone if you leave it lying around like that!"
Me: "But it's just..."
Laundrette Man: "WELCOME TO LONDON!"
Me: "BUT IT'S JUST..."
Laundrette Man: "I am just worried about you, girl..."

Awww. That is when I stopped trying to finish my sentence.
It would have ended: "... a manky plastic bag with an empty can of washing liquid."

If anyone in London is desperate for those things, they shall have them.

Anyway. He is right, though, London is dangerous.
The other day the Evening Standard had a headline "Man in dress pushed to death on tube".
Yeah, I know. Random. that's what I thought. You would expect something like that to happen every day in London. When I got on the tube for the very first time in my life I thought "fuckican'tbreatheandit'scrowdedandhotandiwanttogetoutofhereANDTHISISTHEFIRSTANDLASTTIMEIWILLEVERTAKETHETUBE." That was 1 year and 3 months ago and I have taken lots of tubes since and I love it now.
And you know, I was used to underground trains. Hehe. That wasn't the problem. But these were kind of ROUND and ORGANISED and full of business men. In Bochum it was just occasional square trains full of unemployed people. (... Home.)
Anyway, turns out people don't die on the tube on a daily basis and it is worth a frontpage headline if you do.
Also, turns out I have met the "man in dress" who was killed, just 3 weeks ago. SHE used to go to Loreena McKennit's church and was one of her best friends and I was just introduced to her on one of my shadow shifts.
So my last couple of days at work were rather sad and full of candles.

Apart from that my week was fun! (Excuse the callous transfer to a new topic. (Heh, sometimes I wonder if I sound like Alex from "Everything is illuminated" by Jonathan Safran Foer))

I went to an AMAZING SWISHING PARTY at Vic's house on Tuesday and now I have 3 times as many clothes as I had before. Google "Swishing party", I am too lazy to explain, but it was ACE. When I went there, I was all shy and went "I am not bringing anything, so I'll just let other people take what they want and eat the leftovers..."
But then I got drunken and took lots of nice stuff home. Ooops.
Hm, well, I expect there to be a swishing party in the future where anyone can take all my stuff and I'll be all happy about that.

Yes. Innit.

Hats and other accessories

Oh dear, Saturday night was full of fezzes and I was full of boozes and the last thing I remember is trying to show off my oh-so-amazing table tennis skills and flinging my table tennis bat through the whole Book Club (where the party was, innit) instead of hitting the ball and then giving up and walking away from the "game". Fez held high.

Apart from that it was a fun night. I saw Eva, who returned from New York with AMAZING HAIR. And Sal and lots of other people I hadn't seen in a while or never before.
Lisa came out as well! She ended up crashing on Emma's sofa and I am now dreading going home,cause I am embarrassed about the table tennis incident and the general drunkenness and I wonder if she still likes me. Most people like me better when I am drunken, tho, so I am not too worried.

Sunday I spent doing nothing.

I will have a lot of free time the rest of this week! Am only working Thursday and Friday and I don't have too many plans either. I am desperate for a hair cut, cause my last one I had in... early August. Ouch. Hair cut is first priority now, will try to find a free one somewhere tomorrow morning. Mission.
I also won't have to be too worried about getting cold ears. It is freezing outside, but Ros baught me a hat for 2.50 in Yorkshire. It is less funny, but warmer than a fez.
Also my mum sent me an amazing package full of gloves and scarves and mittens from Germany! In one of the gloves I found my glasses. I will go home in a minute and put them on. I have been looking forward to this moment for seven weeks now, so since I decided to stay here, really.

(SEVEN WEEKS! LORDY.)

I am sure my eyes will cry with joy tonight, rather than the usual tiredness, when they will see the glasses, even though they usually hate them a lot, cause they are a little ugly and broken and not strong enough for me to see the TV at the end of the room. They are good enough to read and draw and sit at computers and that is what I do most of the time anyway.

So thank you mum-who-hopefully-doesn't-read-all-this!

Other plans for the next few days:

- go to swishing party with embarrassingly empty hands
- carve a pumkin
- do whatever people do on Halloween

Happyface.



PS: Sorry, this, again, was not about Tooting at all. Am working on it, am working on it. Like the phone company on our internet connection, I am sure.

Bring mich nach Hause

Meh.

My lovely friend Jules sent me one of my favourite German band's (Wir Sind Helden) new album, which I have been waiting for for YEARS. And then they released it when I was moving to En-ger-land, so it was hard to get. And now I have it and don't like it. It's too... mushy and totally missing the clever, cheeky lyrics, which are the main reason why I love the band in the first place. What happened to your genius, Judith Holofernes???

More news from Germany: Talked to my mother for about 45 minutes, cause it was her birthday on Tuesday. (Which means that my Last-Ever-Childrens-Allowence which I will receive in a couple of weeks... (Wild!)... will probably pay for a birthday call to my mum. It seems right, in a way.)
Apart from my brother's homework and other incredibly interesting subjects we also talked about my decision to move here some more. I answered "yes" to the question if I still felt happy with it. And my mum said that she thought it was the best thing I could have done and gave me a list of people she has talked to (who I don't know) who think the same thing. It felt very good, hearing that.

I AM still so happy to be here. Every day. I don't want anyone to "bring me home" anyhow. *waves Wir sind Helden goodbye*

Yesterday I met up with Friederike again. She's been here for a month now and she loves it - even though she spends most of her time in Sidcup, where she works.
That is also why it took us so long to meet again. A month. That is ridiculous. We had a really fun time yesterday, though. We did some touristy stuff. I took pictures of her in front of Tower Bridge and all that, but then the camera's batteries died and we went to the pub.

Gabby has gone back to Germany... booooo... She will be back in a month and then for a few weeks over Christmas. I am sure we will manage to meet for Glühweins and Lebkuchen at the German Christmas market in Hyde park then.

Christmas. Yes, it has arrived in the supermarkets. It's getting cold as well now. Soon it will be time for me to pay Germanland a visit and pick up my winter coat and my orange dykey winter boots and maybe a jumper. I am looking forward to winter this year. I bet it will be better than this rubbish summer we just had.

SHADwise things are getting a bit messy. Spending cuts and all that, the organisation is getting it's funding pulled by the end of November. Not quite sure what that will mean for me. Loreena McKennit says she wants to employ Lisa and me directly, but I'm not sure if I want that. Would mean a lot of hassle for me and probably moving in with Delius and Romanus and I'd still not have much more money than I have now. We'll see. Wait and see. Have a nice cup of tea. Etc.

Not about Tooting at all

I will postpone the Tooting post, cause I have been working on it for days and am far from finishing it and I want to update my blog.
The Tooting post will be L O N G. Maybe I should make the Tooting post my project for novelber (which is what I will call November this year, since it is National Novel Writing Month)and write my book about Tooting. "A walk through Tooting" by Nio S. Keep an eye out for it.

Today I did a lot of cooking. I have now decided that cooking is my least favourite part about my job. Today I made houmous and Shepherd's pie and an amazing garlicy bean and leek soup and scrambled eggs on toast and I didn't get to eat A SINGLE BEAN. (Actually I might have stolen one...)
I am now home and hungry.
Unfortunately Lisa didn't cook for me tonight. She did yesterday. She made a vegetable fry up and mushroomy sauce and mashed potatoes and a lovely pudding as well! And we all met at Marten's flat and ate it. "We all" that is Marten, Lisa, Marcel, Phil, Leonard and me. We are like a little volunteer family. A mostly German family, unfortunately. Leonard is the only non-German and he is not much more exciting, cause he is English. He is VERY English, which in german-clishe-thinking means: funny and polite (and wearing a bowler hat).
My favourite conversation last night involved a client who has boobs and a dick and invites her volunteers to have sex with her regularly, which Leonard thought "wasn't very appropriate". It made me love Loreena McKennit and my job with her even more.

Work was a little more relaxed lately, though. I had lots of days off and mostly spent them in Hackney with booze and Ros. In that order. It was her birthday on Monday, so I took her out for dinner. Which on a 60 quid wage means: currywurst and pommes.
We went to a cosy little German restaurant that also offers Sauerkraut and Fleischkaes and plays romantic Schlagermusik by DJ Oetzi and Konsorten.
There is a new song that goes "Ich will ne Frau ohne Arschgeweih"* over and over again. I now can't wait for carnival in March!

We also spent a night of slight terribleness at Sarah's house. I don't remember much, only staring at Sarah's tiny ears, drinking lots of water and birthday cakes at midnight, so I don't know what happened to my memory. Maybe I am getting old.

And maybe I should mention now that next month it will be my birthday. You now have 3 weeks to book flights to London and find a present. I will be a quarter of a century old on the 15th and I like ears (especially Sarah's), ice cream, octopusses and potatoes. Thank you.

Other things I did: Went to the Prince Charles Cinema at Leicester Square and watched an amazing film about surfing and bank robbery and got a book for free (The Best of the Best of the new Horror)!
Also I got very drunk in Soho, but I guess that isn't very exciting news anymore.

Am off work for three or 4 days now! Hurray, hurray! I will cook for MYSELF!



*"I want a woman without a tramp stamp.!"

Getting Settled

I've been talking about work too much. That's probably because I have been working too much. So enough of that!
I just was off work for two days. And now don't know what to talk about.

Living in London feels more and more... normal. In a good way, though. I guess you could say I am getting settled. I have finally moved out of the wardrobe sized room they made me live in for the first weeks in my new flat and am now residing in a ballroom sized bedroom with two massive windows looking out on Tooting High Street. I love it. It makes me want to take ballet classes and apply mirrors all over the walls. Or buy a pool table. Or give yoga classes. (Not that I knew much about yoga, but I could take a crash course with my mum I suppose.)

So y'all can come visit me now and either sleep in the wardrobe or on my floor. It is free, but bring your own beer, cause I am properly running out of money, now. Can't wait for pay day! Can't wait for getting money paid into my bank account instead of having a lot of cash handed to me in a Hello Kitty paper bag either. Oh my new life is better than my old life in so many ways...

I start missing things as well now, tho! German bread. Those horrible pizza things they sell in the univerity cafeteria for 1.80. Cheap beer. Jumpers. My 3.99 hat. My glasses.

Next month two former volunteers are going to visit Lisa and me. They are both German (of course) and they will bring us bread. So don't worry I'm not starving. Also, there's always Boots Blueberry and Yoghurt Nougat Bars!

Soon, when I have a bit more time for an update I will tell you all about Tooting. If you want me to or not.

hello, you terrible drunkards

Back in Tootingtown... My Hackney holiday was quite amazing. The weather was lovely - I just learned that these days in October when it gets all hot and sunny and summer-ish for a few days are called "little summer" or "St Luke's summer". Loreena McKennit is good for facts like that. It's like "Kalte Sophie" in a summer version. Not quite sure if we get that in Germany at all. Anyone?

Thursday night started off quite nice and relaxed in the Green in Islington with Sal, Vic and Ros. It ended rather crazy and drunken in a tree house close to Finsbury Park with a girl from Oklahoma. Ehem. I don't get bored.

Friday I didn't do much, apart from sittin around in parks, read and do novel planning. Then met Ros and two of her colleagues for pints at Highbury and Islington and then met a whole bunch of lovely people at the Pembury Tavern for "free food". "Free food" meant "mussels", which I didn't eat, but it was a really fun evening anyway. Bit tired today, cause I had to work early this morning. Very quiet day at work. Loreena McKennit feels a bit ill and basically spent all day asleep.
I went to the laundrette for the second time, though. It is my new favourite part about my job. I'd never been to a laundrette before in my life and always imagined it to be rather boring. And frankly: It is rather boring.
But I love the laundrette man. He is very helpful, very chatty, very Italian and very happy when Loreena McKennit has German volunteers. He has a sister in Germany, in Siegen, whose kids don't speak Italian or English, so the vols are his only way of communicating with his nieces and nephews. He says. I bet if he asked his sister she would help out as well.
Anyway, after chatting to him twice for half an hour I know everything about all the volunteers Loreena McKennit has ever had AND about Germany, which he knows really well, cause he goes there all the time.

Oddness: This morning at 9 am about 35 Japanese women asked me for the way to Streatham cementary and then just followed me there. I never wished I understood Japanese more.

Now: Bit of beer and a bit of sleep.

Tomorrow is Sunday, which means longest day of work, because Loreena McKennit goes to church at Trafalgar Square. I wish I had friends who joined me for coffees at Trafalgar Square at 10am on Sunday mornings like other people. Alas, my friends are mostly drunkards and terrible and are usually still sipping their gin at 10am on Sunday mornings. (And that is why I like them so much. *smiles at thought of terrible friends*)

KNACKERED

We have a potato peeler!

We still don't have proper internet, but you can't have everything, I suppose.

My new life is still GOOD, but quite exhausting, especially the work bit. When I first started I was told that there would be plenty of time for me to just sit in the corner and read a book, but during my first two shifts I was spending more time on dismanteling shelves, repairing sunglasses, making appointments, cooking soups and doing drugs (which sadly just means organising Loreena McKennit's medication).

Monday I was off work, but still spent half my day at the office, waiting for V. to get organised. Then I met Zuzana, who took me to a part of London I'm sure I'd never been to before, but I can't remember what it's called. Anyway, it has a health food shop where you can buy 1 litre of lovely organic wine (white or red) for 6 quid. You just have to bring your own bottle. It is good wine, we had some of it when our beer glasses in the pub were empty.
The last two days I mostly spent with Loreena McKennit, who talks so much it is starting to do my head in a little. She spends a lot of time talking about how she likes it quiet and not having to talk to people. Go figure.

Tomorrow I will have to be at her house at stupid o'clock in the morning, cause she ordered a TV that will be delivered very, very early. I hope it will mean that I can leave a little earlier than I usually would, but I am not very hopeful. She always has a lot of things to do (and tell you). And she has very weak memory so she tends to forget things like giving you breaks and letting you go home.
Maybe Delius will come around tomorrow, though, because he is supposed to paint the living room. And Lisa and I are supposed to help him. Also, Loreena McKennit now wants us to move in with him. Delius. She thinks it's a good idea, cause his volunteers' flat is closer to her house. The only reasons against it Lisa and I could come up with were that we'd really like to stay in the flat that is more central and that we really like sharing a flat just the two of us. She didn't seem very convinced, but I could hardly tell her that if I was living with Delius I would probably move from half time alcoholism to full time alcoholism and spend all my weekly 60 quid on the weed I could then buy in my own living room.
I really hope Lisa and I can stay in our Tooting Broadway flat.

Denva is still not giving up and I am thinking about changing my mobile number.

Bed now, cause of the long day at work tomorrow. In the evening I will travel to East London and meet Ros and then stay at Eva's one more time and spend all of Friday in Hackney. It will be like a little holiday and I am looking forward to it! (I think that is what my holidays will look like from now on: A day in Hackney. There's worse.)

Volunteery Movements

I am in the new flat AND on the internet! My lovely flatmate Lisa has one of those sticks that you just plug into a USB port and then the internet works, mysteriously.

Yes, I have moved. It is a very, very nice feeling being in a flat where you can walk around in pants and leave the dirty dishes for the next day and you know you can stay for at least a few months.
Thing I miss most, now that there is even occasional internet access: a potato peeler. Will go to the office tomorrow and demand one.

Our big moving house friday was quite chaotic. THEY did call in the end, but eventually it was Ben (yet another volunteer) and me organising the key swapping and volunteer movements. Quite complicated, actually! Ben moved from the Brixton flat to the Streatham flat into Winnie's room, who moved to Tooting flat 1 into my old temporary room, then I moved to Tooting flat 2 into Nancy's room, who moved on to Brixton into Ben's old chamber.
Also, Marcell moved from Tooting flat 3 into the Brixton flat, while Stanley moved from no-one-knows-where into Tooting 3 and Geraldine (=The-other-girl-who-didn't-tell-me-her-name, I mentioned her before) moved out of Tooting 1 to no-one-knows-where!

There, lots of new names for you. I have met most of the volunteers now, there are 35 of us. Most of us are nice and fun and I am looking forward to getting to know us better.
Ben is a lovely guy from Portsmouth, who's just here "until he finds another job", a bit like me. He knows interesting facts about the battle of Trafalgar.
Marcell is still very gay and a lot of fun. He is excited about living in the Brixton flat now, which he shares with Nancy, someone I don't know and Isaac, who is also gay and - as it turns out - once went on a date with Marcell's exboyfriend! I love when shit like that happens.
Nancy is still tiny and bored with life. She almost got me arrested or something, tho. Cause I helped her move her 15 suitcases from Tooting flat 2 to Brixton on Friday and she bought me a child's day travel pass for the tube. After there being a technical problem and a big tube officer man almost looking at my ticket she eventually warned me that I had to pretend to be 15. REALLY? NANCY? Do I look like 15 to you? Not all of us are 4 foot tall and have babyfaces. She's sweet, tho, was very worried if I'd find my way back and I had to text her when I was home safe. Bless her.
Then there is Delius, who is my new favourite person of all. He has been a volunteer with the organisation for 2 1/2 years! And he's still here. As a side job he does gardening. He loves flowers. Aww. He doesn't look like the kind of guy to love flowers with his Tommy Hilfiger clothes and spliffs hanging out of his mouth all day. He is going to do Loreena McKennit's garden this month. I hope he will come around lots when I am on shift! We get along really well, he calls me two times a day and I just stare at him whenever I see him, cause his face looks exactely like that of someone I loved in an obsessive teenage kind of way for years and years when I was, well, a teenager.
Lisa is still ace, getting better and better actually. I cooked her dinner today (an improvised curry, which turned out really well!) and we'll go for a game of pool in a bit.

So yeah, I am getting settled into my new life. Today was my last shaddow shift, next time I will have to face Loreena McKennit all on my own! Huh!
I wheeled her around in the wheelchair for the very first time today and she gave me 8 out of 10 points for it, which I think is acceptable. I was just glad she didn't fall out or something.

Saturday was a quiet day, did some shopping and went to Vic's birthday party in the evening, which was FUN in capital letters. We all were wearing vicwigs, which made some of us look like Vic and some of us like themselves with a wig on. And some of us like rOzzy rOsbourne with a fringe.

Also my bank card and details from my new bank account arrived! Very happy about that, cause I am running out of money. Unfortunately they got my name wrong, the eejits. Spelled my surname with an "a" in the end. The Insurance Number people also got my name wrong. They left the "c" out. I can see that this will continue to cause problems. Big sigh.

Foood, No Foood

Project "Get fatter" is going very well. I think just last night I gained about 15 kg.
Ros took me to a madly decorated restaurant in Hackney, where they had lovely food, weird music and drawings of penises all over the bathroom walls. Had a three course dinner and a pretty cocktail! NJAM!
Afterwards we went for beers at Dalston Superstores and then home-not-too-late (at least I did). Last night home for me was Eva's flat.
I woke up in her bed and was very confused about it at about 4 this morning. I think 8 different beds and sofas within 4 weeks is a bit too much, afterall. I am looking forward to having my own bed again.
I left for Tooting really early, cause I was told that I would have to move house early this morning. Have been sitting on packed bags for about 2 hours now, waiting for THEM to call.
The only person who called so far was Linda off the Yellow Pages, who had lots of questions about SHAD I wasn't able to answer. But at least she called three times in a row.

Not sure how I will move all my stuff to my new address. I have two backpacks and 4 other bags, including a massive one with my duvet in it, which I will steal, cause it is nice and new and doesn't have former volunteers' menstrual blood on it.
Also, after I have moved I will be without internet. Boooo... hopefully not for too long. But Loreena McKennit says phone companies in the UK are horrible and always take ages to get things done. So basically: They are like phone companies in Germany, so it might be a while before I can update my facebook status to "is happy about having internet in her new flat!".
Am still looking forward to the new flat, though, cause it has a proper kitchen with proper pans and pots in it and I will have a flatmate who will actually talk to me and I will cook for her and she will play the guitar and it will be all nice and homely. Plus there's still lots of beer in the fridge from Tuesday.

In other news... I missed my flight back to Germany yesterday! So now there's no way back. Cause I don't have money for booking another flight and will have to stay in the UK for ever and ever if I want to or not. Yayay!

Also: I am still not rid of Denva. I texted him again after his 57th text message and told him that I am really not interested in dating him for various reasons: I am very new in London, just want to get settled for now and have lots of other things on my mind, I have been single only for a few weeks and also I am a massive lesbian.
He sulked for a few hours, then went: "I get it, babe."
But he didn't get it, cause yesterday he invited me for dinner, cause he thinks that even new-to-London-recently-heart-broken lesbians will have to eat from time to time.

WELL, THEY DON'T!
(At least not for another 12 hours, after that dinner last night.)