So yes, Lisa and also my friend Friederike have left, which is sad. But the good thing about London is that every week another one of your friends is here on holidays. Last week it was my friend Rebecca, next week my friend Tony is coming over from Ireland. Also on the upside: My friend Ulrike has just moved over here from Doha and Gabby will stay here FOR GOOD, once she's back from her holidays in Italy next week.
And of course the usual: London is still ace bla bla bla. Who am I kidding, sometimes the most acest best city in the world is not enough. My optimism re job search has been hit on the head with a hammer a few times now. And in a way I was still running around a little confused, cause everything is so different here, so that now it feels like I was fouled out of the game before anyone even explained the rules to me. All my fault, though, I know.
Nonetheless I could do with an ego boost. Or some lemon ice cream. Of course the next proper ice cream parlour is about an hour away and hopelessly overpriced.
Also today I signed on the dole, which is something that makes me cry (like literally, actually, in an internet cafe, cause I still don't have fucking internet at home) cause it's something we just don't do in my family, but I have no choice, innit. I'm broke. Don't tell my parents, please please.
My mum hasn't called me in almost two months, anyway, tho. Plus I am bleeding out of all the wrong places and am not health insured. I am definitely on the way down. And yes, I am quite aware that I sound pathetic and am drowning in self pity right now. But sometimes you have to say things as they are and I am. I am not mostly happy anymore.
BUT - and that is good news - I am not just going to run away this time. Watch me. I'll stick this one out.
Monday, 11 July 2011
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
HARRRARRRR Hello!
OK, enough. New start. I won't even try to sum up the last month-or-so and will just restart this blog where I am right now: Sweating like a pig in Ros' room in Hackney where I am using her internet to look for jobs and... well, revive my little Ponderland.
Summer has eventually arrived in the UK. It crawled up and jumped at us from behind an ice cream van and burnt all those lovely pale freckled faces.
Umm... and now...
Let me try to sum up what happened since my last blog entry.
- I went to my cousins wedding, which was lovely, mainly because she seemed very happy and I saw most of my relatives having a good time. And I danced with my mum to some pop song I can't ven remember now. It doesn't happen often, but it's nice, cause it always makes me feel very close to her.
- I went to Rough Beats in lovely Yorkshire with about every single person I know in England. It was fun for a while, but then I downed a few litres of Jägermeister and spent the rest of the weekend with my head sticking out of our tent's entrance so the vomit would be washed away by the inevitable rain and not ruin Ros' expensive designer clothes and quality camping gear.
- I went to visit Lisa in Laurel Close for the last time E V E R. You know my old flat and first little home here in London in Tooting. Bit weird, but not very sad. Not about the flat. Lisa has left me, though. She's travelled on to India, where she's probably having a blast right now and won't have to complain about not being able to sleep because of it being soooo coooold anymore. I miss her.
- I went to the seaside with Ros and her housemates Jo and Rob and Florian and we built a sandcastle and swam in the ocean and I killed a little boy with my frisbee skills.
- I went on a bike ride with Mathilde and I realised I am very much out of shape since I stopped pushing wheelchairs.
- I made a video for UKuncut with Ros and a few other friends, which is a bit outdated now, but you can watch it here, if you want to see my face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucQ48ScFH1E
- Got pissed lots.
And now: On to newer things and better things and bigger things, like finding work and stuff.
Oh yeah, have moved into a new flat, too, and fallen in love with a BOY!!! But more about that tomorrow.
Summer has eventually arrived in the UK. It crawled up and jumped at us from behind an ice cream van and burnt all those lovely pale freckled faces.
Umm... and now...
Let me try to sum up what happened since my last blog entry.
- I went to my cousins wedding, which was lovely, mainly because she seemed very happy and I saw most of my relatives having a good time. And I danced with my mum to some pop song I can't ven remember now. It doesn't happen often, but it's nice, cause it always makes me feel very close to her.
- I went to Rough Beats in lovely Yorkshire with about every single person I know in England. It was fun for a while, but then I downed a few litres of Jägermeister and spent the rest of the weekend with my head sticking out of our tent's entrance so the vomit would be washed away by the inevitable rain and not ruin Ros' expensive designer clothes and quality camping gear.
- I went to visit Lisa in Laurel Close for the last time E V E R. You know my old flat and first little home here in London in Tooting. Bit weird, but not very sad. Not about the flat. Lisa has left me, though. She's travelled on to India, where she's probably having a blast right now and won't have to complain about not being able to sleep because of it being soooo coooold anymore. I miss her.
- I went to the seaside with Ros and her housemates Jo and Rob and Florian and we built a sandcastle and swam in the ocean and I killed a little boy with my frisbee skills.
- I went on a bike ride with Mathilde and I realised I am very much out of shape since I stopped pushing wheelchairs.
- I made a video for UKuncut with Ros and a few other friends, which is a bit outdated now, but you can watch it here, if you want to see my face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucQ48ScFH1E
- Got pissed lots.
And now: On to newer things and better things and bigger things, like finding work and stuff.
Oh yeah, have moved into a new flat, too, and fallen in love with a BOY!!! But more about that tomorrow.
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Stalled
Turns out, my friend Markus, who I thought was in Canada, lives in Cologne at the moment! He studies film and he's brilliant at it. Was very happy to see him so unexpectedly and watch his newest creation "Stalled", which was also ace. Other news: lost at pool, ate amazing burger, watched lots of films. Dad 3 loads of laundry. (My grandmother forced lots of Camembert on me, so I took it to Cologne. When I unpacked my backpack the whole thing stank like hell. So did my clothes.)
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Dirt Crowds Noise
THE FAMILY
Cologne!
Is where I am.
I am using my current homelessness and unemployment for a tour through the home country. It started on Friday at the edge of the black forest, where I met my dad, who took me to a wine tasting in a pretty little town close to the French border. The place made me sick, that's how pretty it was. And so quiet that it made me nervous. It's weird. Countryside is stunning, people come from all over the world to see it, the wines are excellent, the food is the kind I grew up with and the people are supposed to be... well... my people. And they were lovely and welcoming and gave me a VIP ticket which let me eat and drink for free all day. But walking around the vineyards, sucking at my bottle of white wine I just realised how wrong I feel there at the moment. It's where I grew up, where all my best childhood memories are, where I am supposed to feel at home, but I just don't. 2 days and I miss London like mad. Dirt and crowds and noise, how are you over there?
It was a good trip in some ways, tho. I had a proper 1 on 1 catch up with my dad, which is something that never happens. And it felt good to realise how much I actually miss my folks. Cause it's the good kind of missing. The kind where you just know that they are there somewhere and will be when you need them.
Plus my dad is one of the funniest people I know and he knows how to make me laugh when I am all melancholy from too much white wine and too much nature.
Then we travelled on to my grandmother. There was no time for lonely walks then. They all hadn't seen me in 2 years and were all over me. My granny's sister put lots of expensive jewelery all over my wrists and fingers while my grandmother was already busy mending the holes in my jeans and shoving lots of food into my mouth at the same time.
They say I am too thin, not dressed properly, my hair looks like a boy's and scruffy on top of that, I should wear more pearls, but be careful not to lose them, cause they were very expensive and maybe it's best to wait until they have died and I stop behaving like a teenager, plus they won't let me take them to England anyway, cause they'll get stolen there and they'll give them to my dad to look after them for me until I am a proper lady.
My favourite thing was when my grandmother suggested for me to move back in with my parents cause then I wouldn't have to pay rent and I'd surely find a cleaning job in Konstanz, too. Danke, Oma!
She also gave me a necklace she got given for her 90th birthday 6 weeks ago. I think she is convinced she won't see me ever again anyway, but if you ask me she'll live to be 100, at least. She's as fit as a fiddle.
Well, and now I am in Cologne. Hurray! They have dirt and crowds and noise here!
I am sleeping on my friend Julie's sofa and I can't wait to meet her later, when she's finished work. She's a lovely squeaky always there if you need her gives good advise kind of friend who lived with me in Ireland and always made me lovely smoothies and I miss her lots!
Then in a couple of days I will travel on to Bochum to meet more amazing people, play some pool with my friend Mel, hang out with Gabby (for the first time in Germany!!) and restock my currywurst sauce supplies.
And then my cousin's wedding, which I am looking forward to very much. I love weddings now. I LOVE WEDDINGS.
The First Wedding
That was the royal wedding, as you know. I watched it (well at least the service and the kiss) with Loreena MacKennit on her living room sofa. In the middle of it all I had to cook a soup, so I missed lots, but nevermind.
I thought the dress was pretty and some of the hats ridiculous. I thought the tree's in the church instead of flowers were a lovely idea. That was mainly my thoughts. And then I finished work and went to an amazing street party in Hackney. Ros and our friend Aidan welcomed me by throwing me into the air and bringing me other surprises and then I drank lots of cider and peed against a house wall. A girl I didn't know held a scarf in front of me. There were people in wedding dresses and Sam waved a little flag. That is all I remember of it.
I was mostly celebrating The End of Shad. For me. It was the end for me, not for Shad, obviously. Bye bye, thanks for my 60 quid!
Oh and bye bye Tooting! I'll come visit, promise, one day...
The Second Wedding
The second wedding was that of P and T, friends of Ros', who I had met at various occasions. The two of them are in an amazing band together, Royal Treatment Plant, who y'all should totally check out and like a lot.
And theirs was the first proper wedding I've been to since I was 6. The ceremony took place in the Royal Festival Hall, which is a great venue for that sort of thing. With a view over London and all.
The reception then took place in West London, so we all got put on two old routemasters and carried through London, being given our own little sightseeing tour.
Now I don't have any weddings to compare this one to, but I thought it was an excellent party. Great food (paella!), great music (whicdh I told the DJane over and over...) and a free bar all night!
The speeches weren't boring and also Ros crashed into a table, which is always fun.*
Unfortunately that perfect evening ended a bit annoying at 5am somewhere in Essex, cause Ros and I both fell asleep on the night bus. Ah well...
So yes, I am totally in the mood for love and trumpets and soppy stories and more wedding cake. 4 days till wedding No 3! Can't wait! Nervous, yet, Ju?
* Her version of the story goes that she was just about to lean on the table when it collapsed spontaneously a second before she even touched it. Also possible, of course.
Cologne!
Is where I am.
I am using my current homelessness and unemployment for a tour through the home country. It started on Friday at the edge of the black forest, where I met my dad, who took me to a wine tasting in a pretty little town close to the French border. The place made me sick, that's how pretty it was. And so quiet that it made me nervous. It's weird. Countryside is stunning, people come from all over the world to see it, the wines are excellent, the food is the kind I grew up with and the people are supposed to be... well... my people. And they were lovely and welcoming and gave me a VIP ticket which let me eat and drink for free all day. But walking around the vineyards, sucking at my bottle of white wine I just realised how wrong I feel there at the moment. It's where I grew up, where all my best childhood memories are, where I am supposed to feel at home, but I just don't. 2 days and I miss London like mad. Dirt and crowds and noise, how are you over there?
It was a good trip in some ways, tho. I had a proper 1 on 1 catch up with my dad, which is something that never happens. And it felt good to realise how much I actually miss my folks. Cause it's the good kind of missing. The kind where you just know that they are there somewhere and will be when you need them.
Plus my dad is one of the funniest people I know and he knows how to make me laugh when I am all melancholy from too much white wine and too much nature.
Then we travelled on to my grandmother. There was no time for lonely walks then. They all hadn't seen me in 2 years and were all over me. My granny's sister put lots of expensive jewelery all over my wrists and fingers while my grandmother was already busy mending the holes in my jeans and shoving lots of food into my mouth at the same time.
They say I am too thin, not dressed properly, my hair looks like a boy's and scruffy on top of that, I should wear more pearls, but be careful not to lose them, cause they were very expensive and maybe it's best to wait until they have died and I stop behaving like a teenager, plus they won't let me take them to England anyway, cause they'll get stolen there and they'll give them to my dad to look after them for me until I am a proper lady.
My favourite thing was when my grandmother suggested for me to move back in with my parents cause then I wouldn't have to pay rent and I'd surely find a cleaning job in Konstanz, too. Danke, Oma!
She also gave me a necklace she got given for her 90th birthday 6 weeks ago. I think she is convinced she won't see me ever again anyway, but if you ask me she'll live to be 100, at least. She's as fit as a fiddle.
Well, and now I am in Cologne. Hurray! They have dirt and crowds and noise here!
I am sleeping on my friend Julie's sofa and I can't wait to meet her later, when she's finished work. She's a lovely squeaky always there if you need her gives good advise kind of friend who lived with me in Ireland and always made me lovely smoothies and I miss her lots!
Then in a couple of days I will travel on to Bochum to meet more amazing people, play some pool with my friend Mel, hang out with Gabby (for the first time in Germany!!) and restock my currywurst sauce supplies.
And then my cousin's wedding, which I am looking forward to very much. I love weddings now. I LOVE WEDDINGS.
The First Wedding
That was the royal wedding, as you know. I watched it (well at least the service and the kiss) with Loreena MacKennit on her living room sofa. In the middle of it all I had to cook a soup, so I missed lots, but nevermind.
I thought the dress was pretty and some of the hats ridiculous. I thought the tree's in the church instead of flowers were a lovely idea. That was mainly my thoughts. And then I finished work and went to an amazing street party in Hackney. Ros and our friend Aidan welcomed me by throwing me into the air and bringing me other surprises and then I drank lots of cider and peed against a house wall. A girl I didn't know held a scarf in front of me. There were people in wedding dresses and Sam waved a little flag. That is all I remember of it.
I was mostly celebrating The End of Shad. For me. It was the end for me, not for Shad, obviously. Bye bye, thanks for my 60 quid!
Oh and bye bye Tooting! I'll come visit, promise, one day...
The Second Wedding
The second wedding was that of P and T, friends of Ros', who I had met at various occasions. The two of them are in an amazing band together, Royal Treatment Plant, who y'all should totally check out and like a lot.
And theirs was the first proper wedding I've been to since I was 6. The ceremony took place in the Royal Festival Hall, which is a great venue for that sort of thing. With a view over London and all.
The reception then took place in West London, so we all got put on two old routemasters and carried through London, being given our own little sightseeing tour.
Now I don't have any weddings to compare this one to, but I thought it was an excellent party. Great food (paella!), great music (whicdh I told the DJane over and over...) and a free bar all night!
The speeches weren't boring and also Ros crashed into a table, which is always fun.*
Unfortunately that perfect evening ended a bit annoying at 5am somewhere in Essex, cause Ros and I both fell asleep on the night bus. Ah well...
So yes, I am totally in the mood for love and trumpets and soppy stories and more wedding cake. 4 days till wedding No 3! Can't wait! Nervous, yet, Ju?
* Her version of the story goes that she was just about to lean on the table when it collapsed spontaneously a second before she even touched it. Also possible, of course.
Thursday, 28 April 2011
Royal Wedding Eve
So. Town is full of old American women who have William's teeth tattooed on their boobies. I really wish I could go to town tomorrow and see THE DRESS with my own two shortsighted eyes and wave a little flag and scream and then faint. Who wouldn't?
Alas, I will watch the ceremony with Loreena McKennit in her living room while eating currant buns and drinking tea.
So yeah, last shift with the shadsters tomorrow. On the weekend I will move all my 3 posessions into Ros' room and start looking for jobs. Cross your fingers, everyone!
I know this is short, but I don't really have anything else to say about Royal Wedding Eve (which is tonight). It is as exciting as Christmas, but as far as I know I won't get any presents, so meh.
PS: I won a game of pool against Ros last night, which is even more exciting than Christmas!
Alas, I will watch the ceremony with Loreena McKennit in her living room while eating currant buns and drinking tea.
So yeah, last shift with the shadsters tomorrow. On the weekend I will move all my 3 posessions into Ros' room and start looking for jobs. Cross your fingers, everyone!
I know this is short, but I don't really have anything else to say about Royal Wedding Eve (which is tonight). It is as exciting as Christmas, but as far as I know I won't get any presents, so meh.
PS: I won a game of pool against Ros last night, which is even more exciting than Christmas!
Thursday, 21 April 2011
I dos.
My last shift with SHAD is on the royal wedding day. Which is a bit unfortunate. Because, little as I am interested in any royalties, this wedding promises to be quite the excitement. Loreena McKennit says people will sale cake on the streets.
I just heard on the radio that this wedding will cost £20m. Twenty million pounds. That is ridiculous and fascinating and it makes me think that people here will have to sell a lot of cake to afford it.
So yeah, the prince's is the first wedding I am excited about. Then there's more exciting ones, tho, which I am actually invited to.
I have only been to a traditional wedding once, when I was six and throwing flowers and I was wearing little white socks and pretty shoes. Horrible day. Then I was to a wedding where everyone wore black and it took place in a cinema. And then as an unborn Nio I was at my parents' wedding, which was small and I (= my mum) wasn't even wearing a wedding dress, but a grey skirt and blazer and the only guests were archaeologists coming to throw flowers and rice in their lunch break. My glorious parents.
Anyway, as you can see, I am a wedding newbie. But I won't be anymore when the summer is over. Just wait.
I just heard on the radio that this wedding will cost £20m. Twenty million pounds. That is ridiculous and fascinating and it makes me think that people here will have to sell a lot of cake to afford it.
So yeah, the prince's is the first wedding I am excited about. Then there's more exciting ones, tho, which I am actually invited to.
I have only been to a traditional wedding once, when I was six and throwing flowers and I was wearing little white socks and pretty shoes. Horrible day. Then I was to a wedding where everyone wore black and it took place in a cinema. And then as an unborn Nio I was at my parents' wedding, which was small and I (= my mum) wasn't even wearing a wedding dress, but a grey skirt and blazer and the only guests were archaeologists coming to throw flowers and rice in their lunch break. My glorious parents.
Anyway, as you can see, I am a wedding newbie. But I won't be anymore when the summer is over. Just wait.
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Sprimmer*
So Mothervisit is over and it was good. I got to be a tourist and pose in front of tube and street signs. Until my mum's camera's batteries died and she got grumpy cause my "dad should have told her she has to bring the charger" cause how's she supposed to know. Seriously. Batteries haven't been around for that long afterall and my mum's not so good with new technologies.
She went to lots of art galleries and we did a lot of walking through Soho and Camden and a lot of drinking, too. She bought me a towel and underwear and we had asian food every night. Cause it's the only food you get in Tooting and cos Green Papaya is the loveliest and Ros and I had to take her there. So all in all it was a lovely, if a little exhausting week.
My mum is also good to walk around with, cos she notices things. Like... You have a street, a normal street, houses, fences, bins and the odd tree... and for some reason you look at it and know you are in Britain and not in Germany. You don't know why you know, something you can't put your finger on. Here's one reason why:
They PAINT things here. With oil paint. They paint their fences black with oil paint, while we leave it the grey metal. Sometimes they paint the fences grey, but they still paint them. Same for window frames and... I don't know, pub fronts. And doors. We just leave them wooden or plastic or whatever. They paint them brown or white (or any other colour, they have lovely coloured doors here). They must spend shit loads of money on oil paint in this country. But it's good, cause a grey painted fence is prettier than a grey fence.
And now it is SPRING! The sun is scorching the skies and petals rain from the trees. Young girls and old men sit around and write poetry. Woodpidgeons fall in love and all that. Ladybugs... etc. And I get drunken in beer gardens and parks. It is a proper relief, cause it is cheaper and also you need less food.
And cheap is good, cause I have no money. I lost my wallet again. (Feel free to comment on how big a twat I am, but in my defence I want to say that my mobile phone is one year old this month and that's quite amazing and I am proud.)
Also, my job ends in 10 days. I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait! But also I am a little nervous and am getting the oooh-something-ends blues. And all of a sudden I get all sentimental while watering Loreena MacKennit's orchids and sitting around St-Martins-in-the-Fields at 10 on a Sunday morning, all tired and bored and hungover...
ANYWAY I am mostly excited. May will be nice, I think. There's two weddings, a trip to Germany which starts with a wine tasting with my dad and some of his clients, a trip to see my grandmother, who just turned 90!, a couple of days in Cologne with my friend Julie, who I can't wait to see and then a few days in Bochum, and then my cousin's wedding, which will be a proper family reunion, I think.
I am not the biggest family reunion fan. You usually get nice food, but it's exhausting cause you have to pretend to be a nice, hard studying/working straight girl and wear a skirt or something with flowers on. In the past my cousin Ju and me had the best times together, cause we just have to look at each other and crack up about something some auntie just said. And usually after lunch we just fucked off and spent the rest of the day locked in in a toilet cubicle or somewhere. But this time she's the bride and might not be up for it. sigh.
Anyway. Also in May I need to find a new job and flat. Am considering moving into Marcel's skanky flat, cause his heroi n housemate was just thrown out. The flat is urgh, but it's only a 5 minutes walk from Brick Lane, which is rather brilliant and about 20 minutes from Ros' house and everyone else I know. Will think about it. It's not exactely a place I'd invite my mum to. And she's been to all my volunteer's flats and liked them.
Today: games, sandwiches and sunshine in London fields with the Meganican.
*Spring plus summer
She went to lots of art galleries and we did a lot of walking through Soho and Camden and a lot of drinking, too. She bought me a towel and underwear and we had asian food every night. Cause it's the only food you get in Tooting and cos Green Papaya is the loveliest and Ros and I had to take her there. So all in all it was a lovely, if a little exhausting week.
My mum is also good to walk around with, cos she notices things. Like... You have a street, a normal street, houses, fences, bins and the odd tree... and for some reason you look at it and know you are in Britain and not in Germany. You don't know why you know, something you can't put your finger on. Here's one reason why:
They PAINT things here. With oil paint. They paint their fences black with oil paint, while we leave it the grey metal. Sometimes they paint the fences grey, but they still paint them. Same for window frames and... I don't know, pub fronts. And doors. We just leave them wooden or plastic or whatever. They paint them brown or white (or any other colour, they have lovely coloured doors here). They must spend shit loads of money on oil paint in this country. But it's good, cause a grey painted fence is prettier than a grey fence.
And now it is SPRING! The sun is scorching the skies and petals rain from the trees. Young girls and old men sit around and write poetry. Woodpidgeons fall in love and all that. Ladybugs... etc. And I get drunken in beer gardens and parks. It is a proper relief, cause it is cheaper and also you need less food.
And cheap is good, cause I have no money. I lost my wallet again. (Feel free to comment on how big a twat I am, but in my defence I want to say that my mobile phone is one year old this month and that's quite amazing and I am proud.)
Also, my job ends in 10 days. I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait! But also I am a little nervous and am getting the oooh-something-ends blues. And all of a sudden I get all sentimental while watering Loreena MacKennit's orchids and sitting around St-Martins-in-the-Fields at 10 on a Sunday morning, all tired and bored and hungover...
ANYWAY I am mostly excited. May will be nice, I think. There's two weddings, a trip to Germany which starts with a wine tasting with my dad and some of his clients, a trip to see my grandmother, who just turned 90!, a couple of days in Cologne with my friend Julie, who I can't wait to see and then a few days in Bochum, and then my cousin's wedding, which will be a proper family reunion, I think.
I am not the biggest family reunion fan. You usually get nice food, but it's exhausting cause you have to pretend to be a nice, hard studying/working straight girl and wear a skirt or something with flowers on. In the past my cousin Ju and me had the best times together, cause we just have to look at each other and crack up about something some auntie just said. And usually after lunch we just fucked off and spent the rest of the day locked in in a toilet cubicle or somewhere. But this time she's the bride and might not be up for it. sigh.
Anyway. Also in May I need to find a new job and flat. Am considering moving into Marcel's skanky flat, cause his heroi n housemate was just thrown out. The flat is urgh, but it's only a 5 minutes walk from Brick Lane, which is rather brilliant and about 20 minutes from Ros' house and everyone else I know. Will think about it. It's not exactely a place I'd invite my mum to. And she's been to all my volunteer's flats and liked them.
Today: games, sandwiches and sunshine in London fields with the Meganican.
*Spring plus summer
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